GUEST MUM - NIA

Please introduce yourself -

Hi! My name is Nia from Southern California, US. Who came up with the name for your daughter and why?

I've always had a list of names forever! I feel like every girl does. Ava was on it and it's something my boyfriend and I agreed on. I've also heard from others that "Nia and Ava" sound good together. I have my future kid(s) names picked out and they all start with an A. No specific reason.

Did you have a good or bad pregnancy?

My pregnancy was so smooth! I had no morning sickness whatsoever and I was always so full of energy. At 39 weeks, I was going to the beach or going on walks in downtown. The only bad symptom I got was horrible acne during the first trimester. Sometimes I get scared to get pregnant again, because I've heard so many horror stories.

Did you have any cravings when you were pregnant?

Cheeseburgers + fries, always. What's new? My boyfriend always complains that I'm the reason he gained so much weight during that time. We were both pregnant! Where were you and what was your first reaction when you found out you were pregnant?

I was with my boyfriend. I was scared and speechless. All these thoughts running through my mind but I couldn't find the words to speak. I always had faith it would work out though, and it did. It happened during the most challenging time in both of our lives and now we are at our happiest. When girls message me telling me they're scared, I like to tell them a little bit of my story. If I could get past what I went through, so can anyone else. How do you deal with negativity on social media?

To be completely honest with you, it affected me hard in the beginning because who likes hearing negative things? I've gotten the meanest, most ignorant comments! When it's about me, it's something I can brush off, but when it's about someone I love or my child, that's when it can hurt. I'm just so overprotective. I would read the comment to my boyfriend, and he would just laugh. We would click on that person's profile and it's 99% of the time, a no default, no posts, no followers account. Nowadays, I'm much more stronger and the delete + block button has been my bff. :) LOL. Social media is for fun, so I like to keep it a positive place.

What are your favourite moments since becoming a mother?

I love that I always have someone with me. Loneliness is something I'm not good with dealing with and I haven't felt that ever since Ava was born. It's like every night is a sleepover with your best friend!

What has changed the most since becoming a mother?

For the most part, every thing has changed for the better. My boyfriend and I have a stronger relationship and my family has a closer relationship. Ava has definitely brought so much happiness in a lot of people's lives. I've lost a few friends and I know a lot of moms can relate to this. That's just what happens when big changes happen in life. People come and go, but the real ones stay through whatever. I've definitely grown a better appreciation for the people I'm close to for sticking with me + being there for Ava.

What were your first thoughts when you saw your daughter for the first time? I was tired hahah! No really, I was exhausted. I thought and will forever think Ava is a gem. She came out with her little curls (my favorite thing about her) and I was in love.

Has your lifestyle change drastically after having your daughter?

Not really. I got pregnant at 20 years old so before that, I wasn't even old enough to go out and do adult things. People used to say, "you won't be able to do anything!" and that's not true at all. 2 years later, I've done everything I've wanted to do so far. What is your biggest fear as a mother?

I never want Ava to feel alone. Like I said before, it's something I don't deal with well. A fear of mine has always been that Ava will feel like she can't come to me when she has a problem. I remember at times growing up, I would be up at night and I wanted to so badly confide in someone but I felt like I had no one. I don't want Ava to go through that. When she has something on her mind, I want myself or her dad to be the first person she goes to and trusts us that we will try to understand. What have you learnt since being a mother?

It's hard. It's a learning process everyday. Every one does motherhood differently. What do you miss the most before becoming a mother? I miss being able to go to the store in 10 minutes or less hahah. Now it takes 10 minutes to get Ava out of the house, have her walk to the car like, "come on walk faster!" and put her in the car seat, etc. A simple store run for 1 little thing can take 30 minutes with this one. Any advice for soon to be mothers and already mothers?

1.) Don't be so hard on yourself. At times, we can feel like we're being weak, unfit for this job, or losing our identity as an individual, but we're not! We are MOMS and that right there is validation that we are STRONG.

2.) Do motherhood the way you want to. You'll have people telling you left and right their way of doing things, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it's right for you.

3.) It gets better. Those three words changed my life in the beginning of becoming a mom. I remember reading those words when I felt completely hopeless, and I just cried. It's the truth! Breastfeeding, sleeping, crying, body aches, and everything else. IT GETS BETTER.

@momyewest